merp.

We’re left alone

every day

dad’s at work

mom at the store

uncle getting his fix

but where are the kids?

you expect when you ignore them

they’ll enjoy it

when you tear them down

they’ll ignore it

when you leave them alone

that they’ll be okay

but when you create these

bruises and contusions

and SO MANY SCARS

they’re not as strong as you think they are

so when you come home

there will be blood on the wall

pills on the floor

a rope on the tree

your babygirl, gone

“your princess” me.

but don’t fret now

you have all eternity

to tear me down

call me names

place the blame

play some games

and use my death for fame.

 

POEM RIGHTS OWNED BY KAIA.LOVE

The perfect world (poem)

Society today

 

is the most twisted

 

unforgiving

 

controversial thing to exist

 

and  yet, its all negative.

 

only in this society

 

can we create

 

flying cars

 

and trips to mars

 

and candy bars

 

that could end world hunger singlehandedly

 

we already have phones

 

that are like nothing we would’ve dreamed

 

even possible.

 

and yet

 

with technology controlled  by your eyes

 

and

 

talking to people a million miles

 

away

 

we cant grasp the simple concept of acceptance.

 

why is it for years

 

I get the most absurd profanities screamed

 

and smiled

 

so to everyone it seemed

 

not to mean a thing to me,

 

but it does.

 

I want to love who I want!

 

no matter

 

race

 

nor gender

 

nor color

 

its all the same.

 

in a world with mindblowing technology and infamous powers

 

in a world of innovation

 

im still told who im supposed to love

 

and how.

I only dream that some day

 

our morals will be as innovative

 

as our technology.

SOME DAY.

Well, let me start with who i am. My name is Kaia, I’m a sophomore in high school. I’m not one of those types you see alone and depressed all the time, that’s only when i’m alone, but i have plenty of friends and I’m thankful for every single one of them. The only problem is, none of them know who i am when i get home and take off my masks. I’m a lesbian, but i’ll never have the courage to let them know that.

I’ve known this since i was about 10 years old, even though back then i had no idea what it meant, i thought that everyone felt like i did and i shouldn’t be ashamed of it. By the time i got to the sixth grade i had never dated before, i was considered a late bloomer to all of my friends but it never bothered me because i knew how i felt and i knew how confusing things were in my head. I got a boyfriend, i mirrored everything i saw my friends doing with all of their boyfriends but it never quite felt right to me, it was always so awkward. And that’s when i got my first girlfriend, she was my best friend prior to it, I’ll call her Britney. I was completely in love with her, but I let my fears of messing things up get in the way and i did mess up, “britney” I’m sorry.
We never spoke again after that.

In between then and now I’ve still been trying to figure out what i am and how i could change it, but things never added up in my head it never made sense. This was before the time when being Bisexual was a fashion trend and having a girlfriend on your arm was some new accessory so i was made fun of every day, plagued with a label i never even asked for. Since that year i’ve had plenty of boyfriends in an attempt to brainwash myself into being the perfect friend/daughter/granddaughter/sister that everyone could be proud of and after so many years it’s getting to be really sickening. I now know that brainwashing myself wont work and what i have with a girl will never even compare to a guy. I’m a lesbian, but i’ve been under the label of bisexual for so long it’s become just another word to describe myself to those around me.

no, this is not a phase, i can’t be “cured” i know what i am. If only i could be this sure to those around me. One day i’ll stand up and be proud of who and what i am, i will no longer be defined as a fashion trend ill no longer have to lie so people will love me. one day…