Adam’s song- Blink 182

I’m trying to type fast because my laptop is dying and frankly I don’t have any energy to run  through the crowd of very loud very obnoxious people getting drunk in my kitchen.
I’ve been thinking a lot recently, probably too much… but I’ve accepted that that’s my problem.
Depression, does it ever really end? or are we always living with it? Maybe its like a bug… no, it’s like a virus. It makes itself show through sometimes and others it just sits in you and grows and grows and just never stops. You never really understand how bad it gets until you finally see it. By that time it’s too late for you to do anything about it..
I’ve had way too much time to think on my hands. I’ve been sitting in bed like all week, watching old 90’s sitcoms and making friendship bracelets (so. many. bracelets). I feel like an old woman. Unable to move, confined to the bed… only, just for different reasons.
My apologies everyone. I promise my posts will get more organized after this. I know I’ve just been bombarding y’all with posts from my random thoughts and updates on life, if I post at all.
I’m working on it.

Guess Who’s Back (back) Back Again, Kaia’s Back (back) Tell a friend

Sorry guys, I’ve had that song stuck in my head all day. ^
I’ve been gone for quite some while now huh? I guess I owe some sort of an explaination. Life’s just been very very busy for me lately. I’ve had finals for the past couple months, and between preparation for them and actually taking them I’ve been swamped. Believe me, i haven’t even been on Twitter much lately, which is saying something. Go follow me btw @kaiaalove 
🙂
I stopped going to my therapist, it just wasn’t much of a match. I realized that my entire problem was the fact that I hold a lot of things in that i’m feeling. It’s finally beginning to dawn on me that I should really stop doing that, it just esculates everything times 1000. After two sessions i just didn’t think that I needed it anymore. I also stopped taking my antidepressants.
I decided that I’m not quitting High School next year. There’s just way too many things that i want to accomplish, so many clubs that i want to try, and even if i dont end up doing those things, i just want the opportunity to be able to say that I had the option. 
Mainly, I’m going back for one person. 
*epic flashback time*
It all started way back in the 6th grade. I dated this guy, and he was my first real love. I thought that we would last forever, but when you’re that young… you always do. In all reality, we were toxic together. He was still a little kid (mentally) and i was just trying to find out who i was (I mean come on, i was 12) it just wasn’t a good match up.. Years later, we started talking again but by that time we had moved apart, he was on the other end of the city and going to our rival school and we never saw each other in person. The most we had was an occasional Skype chat. But all of that is going to change now(: he’s coming to my high school next year. We’ve gotten over our old childish ways, we’re a lot alike now. Hell, we can kick it and play videogames together and just be chill like best friends. I’m not planning on being back with him.. but it’s nice to be able to just have a best friend that i can connect with 

Especially because.. he may damn well be my last real friend I’ve got. I’m cutting myself off next year. I just can’t keep putting myself through constant bullshit. Certain conversations have arisen in my little group of friends and the talk just hurt. I’d rather not put them out there yet, but maybe I’m just being stupid. It just hurts my feelings to think that this may be the way that my friends perceive me, just to think… maybe this is the way that EVERYONE sees me…