As we all know, today is Valentine’s day. I’m one of those people without a Valentine to celebrate with… so my night is going to consist of Netflix,┬áreading, and┬áChinese take out. Anyone else doing the same?
I refuse to allow myself to become miserable over today. I hate that I’m so socially awkward. I hate that I’m scared to leave my house. I hate that I’m so quiet… I hate that I’m so scared to get close to people. I feel like I might have been attractive enough to have a date tonight, if these hadn’t been issues for me. But tonight, I drown my sorrows in fresh baked cookies from scratch. Would anybody like to message on kik?

Social Anxiety And The Travel Bug

I feel like my personality and my mental issues have a serious clashing a lot of the time, I feel like on the inside I’m extremely ambitious and that if I could, I would be making a lot of better decisions than I am. Logically, I know that keeping myself locked away into my room isn’t healthy, nor is blowing off my best friends when they’re going to be moving far far away in less than a week. I just can’t do it though. On the inside, I’ve been bitten by the travel bug, (that’s probably due to the fact that growing up my mother never allowed us to live in one place for longer than two months at a time) but once I get it in my head that I want to venture off on some big road trip and d a bunch of completely insane things and take so many chances, my logical head and better judgement kicks in. I’m terrified of life, I’m scared to walk out of my front door in the morning, let alone stay out in the “real world” for a week or longer at a time. I love traveling but I hate leaving my comfort zone. One day… I’m going to get myself out there, I’m going to live. Tonight I made that promise to myself. One day…