As we all know, today is Valentine’s day. I’m one of those people without a Valentine to celebrate with… so my night is going to consist of Netflix, reading, and Chinese take out. Anyone else doing the same?
I refuse to allow myself to become miserable over today. I hate that I’m so socially awkward. I hate that I’m scared to leave my house. I hate that I’m so quiet… I hate that I’m so scared to get close to people. I feel like I might have been attractive enough to have a date tonight, if these hadn’t been issues for me. But tonight, I drown my sorrows in fresh baked cookies from scratch. Would anybody like to message on kik?

Depression Cripples;

Where for art thou, oh loyal readers?

I’ve been gone for far too long, it seems I’ve been sent off to the looney bin again. Oh what a joyous day!
Not. I feel even worse now than before I went in. Today I was supposed to go back to school, my plan was to start getting back onto a normal schedule. Not just school, but my entire life. Anybody with Major Depressive Disorder can understand how hard something so small as scraping yourself out of bed to shower, take your medicine, and eat, ends up feeling like you’re climbing Mount Everest. Anyways, rather than going to school, I ended up in the hospital (the regular one this time). It seems that my body has decided to give up again. Believe me, I’m right there with it. My body is severely infected and I cant get my meds until Monday. WAY TO GO shitty American healthcare system.

I’ve missed this, I miss posting here, I miss my followers, the friends I’ve made. Expect posts on a regular basis again guys. I’m not quite sure what days I’m going to do (I haven’t quite gotten that far yet) BUT IM GETTIN’ THERE.

Im back… anxiety update

Hey guys I know ive been gone a while but ive just been taking things day by day. My social anxeity and anxiety in general has been getting horrible so ive been reading and writing a lot. It’s the easiest way for me to shut everyone out. Today I even missed school because I was so scared to go to Threatre class, im going to talk to my guidance counselor tomorrow about getting me switched out even though its the middle of the year. Fingers crossed that she understands. Wish me luck (:

I finally told

Alright soo.. I haven’t written in the past couple days and that’s because everything has gotten so damn crazy.
Tuesday I made a really hard decision and I decided that I would finally stand up and tell someone something that I’ve been holding in for a very long time. I stood up and told my mom that her boyfriend of 10 years used to sexually abuse me as a young child. Needless to say that it’s sparked up this whole big ordeal In my house. I’ve spent the past three days talking to cops and detectives and social workers and im just beyond sick of it. Its like I’ve had all of this locked away in the back of my head and now that I’m talking about it, it’s coming out more vividly than ever. I’ve already had a few people (his family) call me a liar and that scares me because if they don’t believe me then I wonder who else doesn’t believe me and just isn’t telling me this. It really hurts being called a liar about all of this anyway. I’m still going to try to put on a brave face though. Tomorrow is my little brother’s birthday, he’s turning 8 and I want to make things the best for him as possible because he’s been dealing with this stuff with my mom too. It’s especially hard for him, I mean can you imagine being 8 and watching your dad being taken away from you by the cops and just being scooped up from your house with only a backpack full of stuff. I don’t know what i’m going to do for him yet but it’s going to be super special.(:

 

Anyways, If you’re going through what I went through, you shouldn’t be scared. Yeah I mean the rode gets a little tough but I still have optimism that it’ll all work out in the long run.

If you need advice or anything, email me.