My Story Part One: Social Anxiety

This is going to be in parts, I’m just going to be going a little bit more in depth about my life and the things that go on in my mind. Part one is my experience with social anxiety, part two is going to be my bullying experience, and part three Is going to be depression.
Well I’m fifteen now,  and already my social anxiety has taken up a major part of my life. It all started around kindergarten. I remember being very quiet,  I didnt talk much because I was scared that the other kids would think I was weird. At the time I was just labeled as shy and that label followed me for years. All through elementary school I barely said a word, I only had one friend and she was very shy and quiet too. The only people we talked to was eachother. In middle school that quietness followed, along with an urge. I wanted badly to break free. I wanted to be one of the popular girls who was loud and just didnt care. So I tried. I made a lot of mistakes in 6th grade trying to be popular but the anxiety held me back even a little (I still didnt even know what anxiety was). Come 7th grade I was back to my ways of quiet but I had 3 friends, thats also when I started going through depression for the first time. In 8th grade I switched schools and I lost all of the friends that I had. It was nerve wrecking being in a new school,  new places make me extremely uncomfortable. I didnt speak to anyone for almost a month. When I was forced to sit in a group I immediately chose the ‘leftovers’ table. Which basically was the table that was full of the outsiders that didnt really fit into a group. Still I wasnt able to talk to them. I had one friend that year, he was my best friend. we still talk occationally
Last year, 9th grade I started high school.. that was my SECOND attempt to break out and I did well. Through most of the year I was loud and outgoing. I had friends galore and I still got anxious doing certain things in front of people but I brushed it off, I Ignored the feelings In a way. I didnt learn what social anxiety was until the end of the year. I asked my best friend to hang out with me for my birthday and she said yes as long as there wasnt a lot of people because she had social anxiety, I was curious about what that was So I went home and googled it. And thats when I learned that that was me. I searched and searched and did as much research as I could.
Durring this summer I fell back deep into depression. My social anxeity became more prominent in a way… is that possible? Its as bad as it was when I was a child. Im having trouble even functioning now. Talking to people is a struggle and handling things is difficult.  But im working through it.
If you made it this far in reading, thank you for taking an interest. This was kind of hard to talk about.

Im back… anxiety update

Hey guys I know ive been gone a while but ive just been taking things day by day. My social anxeity and anxiety in general has been getting horrible so ive been reading and writing a lot. It’s the easiest way for me to shut everyone out. Today I even missed school because I was so scared to go to Threatre class, im going to talk to my guidance counselor tomorrow about getting me switched out even though its the middle of the year. Fingers crossed that she understands. Wish me luck (: