Hey guys,
I’m sorry if the spelling is terrible on this one, I’m shaking.
Honestly, I would just like to take a second to say that it’s okay to ask for help. Friends, family, a teacher. HELL, IF NOONE ELSE WILL BE THERE FOR YOU THEN I WILL

I logged on to my account today and started scrolling through my reader to see a post called “it ends tonight”. I feel like a part of me immediately knew what this meant because I’ve written them in my journal as a promise to myself so many times. It was one of the newbie bloggers that I’ve started subscribing to lately. She was one of the ones that I’ve been meaning to comment onto one of her posts with my email so she could talk to me if she needed to

I guess it’s a little too late now.

I feel like shit, in her last post she stated how nobody was there and all of her friends lost interest in her life.
Maybe this could’ve been prevented… I don’t know

Depression is something I talk about casually around here because it’s a part of my every day life. It’s something I’ve gotten used to even though I guess you’re not supposed to. Rationally, I know that. Help is nothing to be ashamed of guys. Don’t follow in my footsteps, if you’re feeling low, please just vent to someone, if you can’t then journaling is a GREAT alternative too. Keeping it bottled up is the worst thing for you to do
If anyone needs to talk email me : iheartsumocyco@yahoo.com
I’ll respond within the day.

To all of my supporters

well, hello guys.
I know that I said that this blog was going back to beauty things but I’m debating. For now it’s going to stay on my personal life
On that note, thank you to everyone who has ever commented a positive message for me on here, they truly do mean a lot to me. I’m sad to report that I’ve relapsed back into cutting. It may not seem like a big deal but to me it is, I thought I was finally better but I guess not
It feels like these damn antidepressants haven’t began working yet. It’s been over a month, I’m losing hope.
I’m so depressed, It’s now 5pm and I’m already in bed ready to go to sleep.
I feel like a failure, I’ve let everyone down…

I’m sorry.

My Mistakes

Honestly, I’ve been having this huge battle with myself about weather I should post this or not, I’m kind of scared that someone might see this and judge me or call me names or something, until I thought back about the reason I created this blog, to vent about my problems and maybe reach out to someone else gong through the same thing… so here it goes. After I posted my last blog post I wasn’t sure what to do with the rest of my day, besides this blog literally all I do is sleep and listen to music. I don’t go out with friends or party or have sex or do drugs or whatever it is 15 year old girls are supposed to be doing this generation, so I got on youtube and obsessively watched most of the videos from one of my favorite youtubers, Laura : http://www.youtube.com/channel/UC99LFxQRYI0d-SeXAzDpCrQ
Her channel is all about getting the issue of self harm out there for the world to see and to spread awareness, I really respect her for that. Eventually, this idea sparked in my mind. I don’t know why it did because I haven’t had the urge in over four years… but I did. And so the idea grew and grew and grew until finally I gave in and did it. I cut. I grabbed the first sharp object I could find and just went for it. I’m kind of in regret kind of in relief I have a lot of mixed emotions about it right now.