Drafting Suicide Notes (with no intention of using them)

Hey guys,

Today I picked kind of a more odd topic: Is it weird to draft suicide notes as a therapeutic outlet? I had someone send an email (keeping it anonymous) asking about my opinion on this, and of course my opinion is no! its not weird.
I like everyone to keep I mind that grieving process is different for everybody, whether you’re grieving a death, a stressful situation, or just getting through depression. Not everybody can process things smoothly, so naturally we cling to any outlet that we could possibly find and I’ve seen (and used) a very wide range of them. And let’s be honest, most of mine aren’t exactly the healthiest options for myself. Suicide notes usually aren’t about suicide (as confusing as that sounds) it’s usually about expressing how you feel, when you think nobody was ever listening before then. It’s almost like journaling in a morbid kind of way. A few months ago I was completely obsessed with this documentary on Netflix about bipolar disorder I found this one woman that said when she hit the low point of bipolar and felt very suicidal, she would always write a suicide note before she brought herself to doing anything too drastic, because she knew that after the letter was written she felt like she got everything out, and it provided enough of a distraction to where it took the edge off the suicidal urge. And it wasn’t just one or two times that she did it, she kept an entire box of these notes.
Watching that made me feel better because it was then that I realized that I did it too, I usually kept them in my journals though, when I was extremely down I would draft a suicide note in my journal and it made me feel better to express to the world everything that I kept locked inside of me for so long,
so no, I don’t think its weird. I think it’s good that you have an outlet for yourself -KJ

Relapse

I was so happy with myself, I figured that I was going so far in life, like maybe I was building this base for myself that allowed to be able to start creating a freedom and to start finding myself and actually start my career and school and my new life. In reality though I’m just stuck in a rut. I relapsed and cut again after almost flipping the car. I’m about to go make my appointment to finally take my license test but now I’m starting to second guess if that’d actually be a good idea or not,

on the bright side I started exploring myself in starting my career as a makeup artist and started a beauty blog, I’d love if anyone checked it out? I’ll be posting hauls, lookbooks, ootw’s, and tutorials. Thanks babes.

Hey guys,
I’m sorry if the spelling is terrible on this one, I’m shaking.
Honestly, I would just like to take a second to say that it’s okay to ask for help. Friends, family, a teacher. HELL, IF NOONE ELSE WILL BE THERE FOR YOU THEN I WILL

I logged on to my account today and started scrolling through my reader to see a post called “it ends tonight”. I feel like a part of me immediately knew what this meant because I’ve written them in my journal as a promise to myself so many times. It was one of the newbie bloggers that I’ve started subscribing to lately. She was one of the ones that I’ve been meaning to comment onto one of her posts with my email so she could talk to me if she needed to

I guess it’s a little too late now.

I feel like shit, in her last post she stated how nobody was there and all of her friends lost interest in her life.
Maybe this could’ve been prevented… I don’t know

Depression is something I talk about casually around here because it’s a part of my every day life. It’s something I’ve gotten used to even though I guess you’re not supposed to. Rationally, I know that. Help is nothing to be ashamed of guys. Don’t follow in my footsteps, if you’re feeling low, please just vent to someone, if you can’t then journaling is a GREAT alternative too. Keeping it bottled up is the worst thing for you to do
If anyone needs to talk email me : iheartsumocyco@yahoo.com
I’ll respond within the day.

To all of my supporters

well, hello guys.
I know that I said that this blog was going back to beauty things but I’m debating. For now it’s going to stay on my personal life
On that note, thank you to everyone who has ever commented a positive message for me on here, they truly do mean a lot to me. I’m sad to report that I’ve relapsed back into cutting. It may not seem like a big deal but to me it is, I thought I was finally better but I guess not
It feels like these damn antidepressants haven’t began working yet. It’s been over a month, I’m losing hope.
I’m so depressed, It’s now 5pm and I’m already in bed ready to go to sleep.
I feel like a failure, I’ve let everyone down…

I’m sorry.